Tai Chi with Dr Paul Lam

Monday, June 23, 2008

The God I Forgot About

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

It seems that God, again, just has to hit me over the head with a 2x4 to get my attention.

I had the most wonderful evening with my friend Cheryl on Friday. Where we normally see each other for dinner or lunch for about 2-3 hours every 3-4 months or so, we spent 6 HOURS at Houlihans on Friday night. The staff was fantastic and left us ALONE (we tip very well) unless we signaled that we needed sustenance or drink. (the drinks were non-alcoholic) We sat and talked and talked and talked and worked out the entire world's problems..........well at least most of ours. I UNLOADED about all of the crap with the OC (oldest child) and she gave me what I've needed most, affirmation that we're not the most horrible parents in the world and we have to spend this time looking out for Anne and not worry about our decisions.

So the God part of it is that He has put Cheryl in my life, He has been providing daily inspiration via loving my hubby, the internet, the phone, and even the horoscopes (yes, I read them but don't spend my life by them). But the greatest thing is that they have been telling us to slow down and evaluate and not worry and oh my gosh! it's spot on!!!! I believe that He puts various forms of information in front of us regularly to remind us that He's there and He'll use whatever will get our attention at this time. He's a marvelous God and He knows what we need.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

She just walked in the door like she still lives here and can come and go as she pleases. I bit my tongue being pleasant to her. "I just came to get my mail." Great. Thanks for that.

The bible verse was on my home page today when I opened it. It was just what I needed. Be strong for I will be with you. Lord, I need you with me. I need to start over and love her unconditionally and let it be. I will let You handle her and hope and pray that someday she will realize we tried to do what was best for all. Thank you Lord, for carrying me.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Yup, that sure says it. Well, Lacy left last Saturday and I've been between crying and screaming ever since. When I saw her empty room, I dissolved into tears. Then when I tried to contact her (by text, darn it!) to get some information for insurance, she was so rude and contemptuous! I alternate between worrying about her and wishing her good riddance. I can't help it. I love her so much and I despise the way she acts!

Anne wants to move down into Lacy's old room and I'm inclined to let her. Fred is beside himself and can't let her. He still believes there's some chance of getting through to Lacy and she'll magically change and want to come home and "play nice". It ain't gonna happen. Fred lives in this dreamworld where it's the 50's and he's Father Knows Best. That's what we used to look like when we were all together and father did know best. I miss those days.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The most important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking one's self seriously. The first is imperative, and the second disastrous.- - Margaret Fontey

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Keep on walkin’ with rocks in your shoes.....

Fancy meeting you here again so soon..... I really thought I'd be so busy that I'd only get back to journal once or twice a week. Well, that may be how it eventually works, but for now, I'm taking the time I do have available to add entries. Rocks In Your Shoes is a country song (which is where I'm spending most of my time lately) sung by Emily West that refers to staying on course even when life smacks you in the face and tries to knock you down, if not out. That's what I'm feeling like this minute.
The point right now is that we're seriously informing the OC (oldest child) that she needs to leave the house. We love her so much and we just can't figure out WHAT we've done wrong that she's become so selfish and rude and inconsiderate that she thinks she can live here and be that way. She's decided to blame us for everything wrong in her life and acts like she is going to hold it against us even while living here, rent-free, come-and-go-as-you-please. We've set down some "Rules for Getting Along Together" and she's basically chosen to pick and choose the ones she wants to follow or not. By seriously I'm mean that I've told the OC that she's "moving out" several times in the past 6 months due to the above infractions, but I never follow-through. I've let her get away with completely disregarding me, her dad and her sister AND calling me several very ugly names last week. With school coming to a close, I just wanted to relax a few days and then address it next week. I was going to ask her to leave, but last night Fred had had enough and, when she got home, he told her that she had one week. She began crying and ended up leaving to spend the night at the boyfriend's (he was at his graduation-all-night-party). Wonder what she told his mom about that?!? Before she left she actually had the gaul to ask her sister, "Do you have any idea why Dad is making me leave?" She didn't respond.
Gotta run....I'll return with updates after softball with the TA (teen-ager)....the one who stills likes us.......................
Rocks In Your Shoes by Emily West
So you had some bad luck, life sucks
Can’t do nothin’ right
You took some wrong turns,
Got burned way too many times
And so you fall back with all that
hurt that just don’t wanna heal
So then you do the why me,
This can’t be happenin’ again
Hey what’s the deal man
I can’t take much more of this
You put your time in
Payed your dues
Believe me I know how you feel

I guess you gotta make a choice
When it hits the fan
You can get a little down or get a little mad
When there’s stones in the road
only one thing to do
You gotta learn to walk with rocks in your shoes
Come on!

I heard some good lies from bad guys
Makin’ me their mark
They did a drive by bang, bang
Big hole in my heart
Needed a crash cart, CPR
Sister I was fadin’ fast
I had a poor me trophy
Kept it on a shelf
Did the too proud,
Too cool to ask for any help
But when I gave in prayin’
I only got what answered back
And He said,
I guess you gotta make a choice
When it hits the fan
You can get a little down or get a little mad
When there’s stones in the road only one thing to do
You gotta learn to walk with rocks in your shoes
Come on!
Bitter’s like a weed
If you let it grow
It’s gonna trip you up, yeah
Somewhere down the road
To get where you’re going
There’s only one thing to do
You gotta learn to walk with rocks in your shoes
You better learn to walk with rocks in your shoes
Come on!
Keep on walkin’ with rocks in your shoes

This song talks to me about continuing to love her and persevere through her anger and mine. And, I'd hope it spoke to her about taking responsibility for her own actions and decisions and discontinue blaming "everyone else". Not that she'll ever read this. I don't think she knows that I have a blog. Another great country song right now that completely applies is, Back When I Knew It All by Montgomery Gentry. Maybe I'll put that in tomorrow.

Friday, June 6, 2008

The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.

In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
That's right, school's out for summer! No more pencils, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks.................well, okay, I'm the teacher, so I can still give the dirty looks, just not to those particular students. I hope I've spent the year teachiing them things that will help them pass life's test.

It's actually been a tough year for me too. I had no idea what it would be like to raise children of my own. The line between teacher and parent has been very thin this year and it's been tough on all of us. Sometimes I contemplate giving up the teacher-parent thing and other times I want to give up the parent thing altogether! Really! So, this is "me" doin' a jig down the hallway on the way out the door to v-a-c-a-t-i-o-n! in the summertime!

I'm sure I'll see you along the way, but don't be surprised if it's a few miles in-between!

Remember Me

Sweet Thing